Bureaucracy at Work

Nothing like starting work for the behemoth that is the Federal Government. Even subsets of that behemoth can't seem to function with any degree of great efficiency - take, for example, the Department of the Army. I was all set to start work on this coming Monday - until late last week, at which point I had still not been contacted with an official job offer. So I let the people at my office know (because generally my office works like a well-oiled machine - most of the time, at least) and they pulled some levers and I wound up with a job offer. Except, it was an offer to hire me as an intern again.

So I sent an email back and said "no, I graduated. . . .it's time to hire me as a real employee." So the people at my office pulled a few more levers and Monday morning I got an email with a corrected job title offer. Which is great - except that I woke up this morning to find out that I might STILL have to wait to start work, because they had offered me a bonus and the bonus had to 'wait in line' for approval.

Well, then they called me this afternoon to let me know that everything had been approved. Which is sweet, because it means I won't have to work at decreased intern pay anymore - I get my full salary. But my start date of Monday is still up in the air, because they keep asking for more documents. I had to sprint over to Staples just a few minutes ago to send off a picture of me so they can be sure I'm not a terrorist or something.

It's all just very frustrating. . . .and I think that the only reason I feel that way is that I'm tired of not having anything to do all day. I mean, what do I do every day? I wake up. I eat breakfast and brush my teeth. I go on a no-joke bike ride with Alexander for excercise. I come home and eat lunch and complain about how sore my legs feel all afternoon. Then I go for my evening run, take a shower, play a video game and go to sleep. There's no substance, nothing getting accomplished. That's why I love going to work so much, I think - it's a no-nonsense, fast-paced job with a steep learning curve, and every time you finish a project you feel like you've done something vastly important for the country and sometimes even for the world.

I'm tired of being bored.

Post-college trip: cancelled

So my friend Alexander returned home today, and after yet another trip to the dentist this morning, he and I hung out this afternoon. We were supposed to go on a trip together after he got home from China (he plays trumpet at Julliard, and the Julliard Orchestra traveled to China on a goodwill tour immediately after the school year ended). Unfortunately (for me), he has an audition on the 23rd so he can't just take a week off of practicing to putz around the country. I suppose I understand pretty well where he's coming from - I mean, the guy needs a job, and his training is as an orchestral trumpet player (and he's pretty good, by the way!).

But part of me feels like I'm really missing an opportunity to do something I'll never have the chance to do again. There are places I've never seen before - the Grand Canyon, the Pacific Coast, parts of Mexico and Canada, and perhaps even Alaska and Hawaii, and that doesn't even consider everywhere ABROAD I'd like to see - that require time and money, and I feel like after I start working I won't have the time to take to see these wonderful places. On the other hand, I don't really have the money to see most of them now, either. . . .

But I don't know. I feel like I've grown progressively more boring since my sophomore year, and every day I wake up now I feel like I'm wasting time because I'm not going to work. Quite honestly, I feel like my whole life is starting to revolve around work - and I haven't even started yet.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Passionately. Almost to the point of obsession. And that's precisely what I'm afraid of - I have a tendency to convince myself the I actually enjoy doing all the stuff I HAVE to do, because it keeps me from skipping the necessary stuff for the things I actually WANT to do. Take, for instance, auto repair. I used to hate it. Now my weekends feel empty if I don't spend them fixing my car. Why? Because when my car breaks, it needs to be fixed - and if I can tell myself that fixing my car is fun, then it makes it a DESIRABLE activity. I feel like I've made my job just such an activity - to the point where I'd rather go to work than do a lot of other things.

And that simply isn't healthy. But I feel like I'm losing direction in my life, and that outside of my job (which, as I mentioned, hasn't even started yet) there isn't really anything I wake up each morning and say "Hey, I'm sure glad I get to do [this] today." It's a scary thought, really - because one day, I'm going to wake up and not even want to go to work. And I won't know what to do.

Inaugural post

I have no idea how many people are going to read this blog, ever. But I suppose in the interest of maintaining at least some semblance of communication with all of my friends from college with whom I have been recently parted, I might as well at least give this a shot. Most of you, I'm sure, didn't care about the minutiae my life while I was in Blacksburg, so I can't see why you'd be any more interested in it now that I'm NOT in Blacksburg - but, I suppose, to each his own.

I spent today doing . . . . very little. It was still hot, but my mother decided that she wanted to steam clean the basement carpet so I went to pick up the steam cleaner for her. I spent most of the afternoon actually just sitting around, occasionally practicing my horn. Then I ate dinner, went for my usual evening run, and cleaned my room. And that brings us to right now.

In all honesty, I'm growing very tired of the monotony. I know there are a lot of things I could be doing, but I feel like I really ought to be at work. I went to a luncheon last week for a couple of the uniforms in my office who are being rotated out or retiring within the next month - and it only made me feel more like all the sitting around I've been doing on this 'break' between school and the rest of my life has been utterly worthless. I'm not the sort of person who deals well with extended vacations, and a month off without any sort of meaningful work (aside from painting my room and breaking down the tree house) is causing me to go nearly insane.

I guess I'll post more tomorrow, or certainly within the next few days. Alexander is supposed to come home tonight, so hopefully tomorrow he and I can hash out . . . . whatever our trip is going to entail, if it is even going to happen (I grow more skeptical of that by the day). I'm also eagerly awaiting the official job offer from the army. . .my office promised me that I'd be able to come on board on the 23rd, but CPOL still hasn't gotten the paperwork worked out - so right now, I'm in limbo. And the beat rolls on. . .